A fabricated online persona spends weeks or months building genuine emotional intimacy before manufacturing a financial crisis that only you can solve. Romance fraud is among the most psychologically damaging scams because the money lost is only part of the harm.
💘 Dating Apps📱 Social Media📧 Email
Written by Brandon King
· Last updated: February 2026
US Losses (2023)
$1.14B+
Typical Loss
$10K–$200K
Peak Season
Year-Round
What Is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam occurs when a criminal creates a fake identity to form an emotional or romantic relationship with a victim online, with the ultimate goal of extracting money. The fraud is not about a single lie — it is an extended performance that can last months and involves the scammer learning everything about the victim’s life, dreams, and emotional needs in order to exploit them.
The FTC reported that Americans lost $1.14 billion to romance scams in 2023, with a median individual loss of $2,000 — though cases reaching six figures are common and well documented. The true financial and personal cost of identity theft and fraud is often far higher than the initial loss — you can estimate your own risk with our Identity Theft Cost Calculator. Because the crime carries significant social stigma, it is widely believed to be one of the most underreported fraud categories in existence.
Romance scams frequently overlap with other fraud types. The pig butchering investment scam, for example, is essentially a romance scam with an investment platform as the final mechanism of theft. Sextortion often begins the same way. The romantic relationship is the delivery vehicle — the specific financial trap varies by operation.
How the Scam Works — Step by Step
Profile and Contact
Scammers create profiles using photos stolen from real people — often military members, doctors, engineers, or models whose images appear on public social media accounts. They also research targets in advance using personal data available on people-search and data broker sites. You can check which data brokers are currently exposing your information using our free tool. Contact is then initiated through a dating app, Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
Love Bombing
Within days, the scammer begins flooding the victim with attention — good morning messages, evening check-ins, expressions of how uniquely special the victim is. This intensity, known as love bombing, is deliberate. It creates emotional dependency faster than a normal relationship would develop and makes the victim feel uniquely valued and understood.
The Excuse for Distance
The scammer always has a reason they cannot meet in person or appear on an unrehearsed video call. Common cover stories include military deployment overseas, working on an offshore oil rig, practicing medicine in a war zone, or completing an international engineering contract. These scenarios are chosen because they explain prolonged absence and naturally set up future financial requests.
The Crisis Emerges
After weeks or months, a problem surfaces — a medical emergency, a legal issue, a customs fee to release valuable cargo, or a business deal that requires a short-term cash infusion. The request is framed as temporary and the scammer promises repayment. The amount starts small enough to seem reasonable given the perceived depth of the relationship.
Escalation and Isolation
Each payment is followed by another need. The scammer may discourage the victim from discussing the relationship with friends or family, framing it as protecting their privacy. Victims who have confided in others about the relationship are sometimes too embarrassed to admit something feels wrong, which allows the scam to continue longer.
Warning Signs You Are Being Romanced by a Scammer
Profile photos pass a reverse image search and appear on multiple unrelated accounts or stock photo sites — a definitive sign of a stolen identity.
The person declares strong feelings — love, soulmate language, plans for a future together — within days or a few weeks of first contact.
They are perpetually unavailable for a live, unscripted video call, always citing a broken camera, poor connection, or an inconvenient time zone.
Their life story involves a profession or situation that conveniently explains both their absence and their future need for money.
Any request for money arrives regardless of how it is framed — emergencies, gifts, loans, or investment opportunities.
They discourage you from mentioning the relationship to close friends or family members.
How the Scam Unfolds
What To Do If You Think You Are in a Romance Scam
Stop sending money immediately. There is no emergency real enough to justify sending funds to someone you have never met in person.
Run every profile photo through Google Reverse Image Search at images.google.com and TinEye at tineye.com.
Request a live video call and ask them to hold up a handwritten sign with today’s date and your name — a real person can do this instantly.
Talk to a trusted friend or family member about the relationship, even if it feels uncomfortable. Outside perspective is one of the most reliable defenses against this type of manipulation.
If you shared personal information during the relationship — your address, SSN, financial details — consider using a data broker removal service to reduce your exposure and remove your details from people-search sites that scammers use to build target profiles.
Report the profile to the dating platform or social network involved. Report financial losses to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov and the FBI at ic3.gov.
If you are struggling emotionally after discovering the fraud, the AARP Fraud Watch Network helpline at 1-877-908-3360 offers free support from counselors experienced with romance scam victims.
Romance Scams Often Lead to Identity Theft — Not Just Financial Loss
Scammers who build a romantic relationship have usually collected your full name, home address, employer, financial situation, and sometimes your SSN or banking details over months of conversation. That data doesn’t disappear when the scam ends. An identity theft protection service monitors your accounts, credit, and personal information for the downstream misuse that often follows — opening fraudulent accounts, filing fake tax returns, and more. We’ve independently tested and compared the leading services.
Independent reviews. Tested with our own information. No fluff.
Frequently Asked Questions
Love bombing is a manipulation tactic where the scammer overwhelms the target with excessive affection and attention very early in the relationship. Daily messages, declarations of deep connection within days of meeting, and claims that the victim is unlike anyone they have ever met are all hallmarks. The goal is to create emotional dependency quickly so the victim is less likely to question the relationship when a financial request eventually arrives.
Scammers operate fake personas and cannot meet in person without revealing the fraud. Common excuses include working on an offshore oil rig, serving in the military overseas, or being temporarily stuck abroad due to a business emergency. These scenarios also conveniently set up future financial requests — for travel costs, emergency medical bills, or business complications that only money can resolve.
On desktop, go to images.google.com, click the camera icon, and upload the profile photo or paste its URL. On mobile, press and hold the image in your browser and select “Search image.” You can also use TinEye at tineye.com for a second opinion. If the photo appears on multiple unrelated profiles or is linked to a stock photo site, the profile is almost certainly fake.
Yes. While women report romance scam losses more frequently, men are equally targeted and often lose larger amounts per incident. Men are less likely to report the crime due to embarrassment. Scammers targeting men often use profiles of attractive younger women, sometimes posing as overseas professionals or models.
This is generally not recommended. If the person is a scammer, confronting them will not recover any money already sent and may cause them to become hostile. It is better to quietly cease contact, block across all platforms, and report to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov and the dating platform involved.
